Since I’m an inherently awkward person and try my best not to offend people, I often find myself in somewhat impossible situations. Situations I have difficulty navigating smoothly. This is the story of how my handbag saved me. Do you want to know what you can find in this woman’s handbag? Well…fish!
I was invited to a very dear friend’s wedding, a lovely tiny ceremony with only her husband’s and her closest friends and family. I hardly knew anybody there so I was relieved to find that during dinner I was sitting beside one of Al’s best friends, whom I had met before. Everyone was really friendly and we all started making conversation. Then it was time to eat and the first course was being served … and to my horror it was a variation of different kinds of fish and a big fat shrimp on top (I absolutely hate fish!!). Without my sisters there I was lost. I’m used to just tossing things I don’t like onto their plates but alas there was no obvious way out of this one!!! I started nibbling on the herbs decorating the beautifully arranged plate full of disgustingness.
The only solution I came up with (I have watched way too many Bridget Jonesy chick flicks) was to fill my napkin with the carefully prepared dish and so forkful by forkful my plate emptied while I was ever so closely eyeing the people around me to make sure they wouldn’t notice. But what now? I had a napkin full of fish on my lap and eventually I’d have to move or get up. So, of course, that’s when a handbag comes in handy.
Although I acted carefully and the smelly napkin disappeared into my bag in one swift move, I am convinced that everyone must have been aware of what I was doing ever so secretly. But being the weird girl with the fish in the handbag was apparently not enough for me, so I ended up confessing everything to Al afterwards anyway. Word of advice: fish in handbag not a good idea. Fish in handbag in warm car with closed windows even less if a good idea. From now on my stomach’s no-fish-policy also applies to my handbags!
Voices from the Attic 