Let me begin with one of my most embarrassing moments of all time. Just before my final exams at uni I decided to move into a shared flat with my friend Ally. I had been living in the same house just on another floor and had the flat all to myself. So I notified the landlord and everything was going the way it should be going.
Then came the day of my written exam. I had barely slept the night before so I was absolutely exhausted afterwards. I decided to return to my flat, change into my pyjamas, remove my contact lenses (what a mistake!) and take a long lovely nap to forget about the world around me. But life wouldn‘t have any of it. Shortly after I had snuggled into my bed and felt my head sinking into my fluffy pillows, someone rang my doorbell. I thought, “Oh, that’s probably Al. She has a key to my flat so she can just let herself in.” I felt like dozing off again when I heard a knock on the door of my flat. I froze but ended up reassuring myself that it was probably just Al. Sure enough I heard the key in the door but instead of Al’s voice I heard a number of male voices discussing something. I was in shock and couldn’t move and just didn’t know what to do. The voices came closer and then there it was…the dreaded knock on my bedroom door.
Since I was in my pyjamas and I really didn’t want my boobs to wave hello to my visitors, I jumped out of bed – panicking – and reached for a scarf to cover up as much as I could. I opened the bedroom door to find my landlord chatting to a couple of people interested in renting the flat. Apparently he had been trying to call me during the exam to arrange the appointment.
So here I was: messy hair, bare feet, squinting to see and stuttering my apologies in confusion. I showed the people around and after more confused chatter and insecure smiles they left. Finally! I was so relieved but at the same time felt so stupid and ashamed… But if you think it stopped there, you’ve got another think coming. I mean basically that is something that could happen to NORMAL people too. So why stop there?! When I walked into the bathroom to check how bad it really was, I realised that – without the aid of my contacts – I had accidentally mistaken a pair of tights for a scarf. The scarf was tied neatly around my neck, the ends clearly shaped for feet dangled over my boobs and the part for the bum sat at the back of my neck comfortably.
Do you know those hot flashes of embarrassment? Well, I surely felt them. I didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry but of course I ended up laughing about it – and I still giggle when I remember my little Oopsie. Turns out my ability to go ‘beyond embarrassing’ eventually makes for a collection of funny anecdotes. I might not be as beautiful, perfect, elegant, well-behaved or as fake as most other girls but I have stories to tell. And many of them too. So stay tuned, Fiona (my only reader hahahaha) 😉
P.S. Should you ever encounter someone with tights around their necks, back away carefully (you never know what they are capable of) and know that this style icon right here was the trendsetter!
Voices from the Attic 